Is it immoral to have more than one wife? Polygamy between Islam and the West

Answered by Taqwa Saifulhaq at OnIslam
Question:
Hello, My question is in regards to having multiple wives. I’ve been told several times by non-muslims that this is immoral and unfair to the women. I tried to explain to them that the women are treated equally and that it is a Western perception that this is an immoral act, but they didn’t seem to understand. Can you help me explain myself more eloquently the next time the question arises? Salam.
Answer:
Salam,
Thank you very much for your important question.
Allah Almighty is the creator of all the human beings. He knows what is good and what is bad for them. He also knows their particular needs. He says what means:

أَلَا يَعْلَمُ مَنْ خَلَقَ وَهُوَ اللَّطِيفُ الْخَبِيرُ

Does He who created not know? And He is the Knower of the subtleties, the Aware.
[Surah Al-Mulk 67:14]

Allah Almighty also says what means:

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوا فِي الْيَتَامَىٰ فَانكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَىٰ وَثُلَاثَ وَرُبَاعَ ۖ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰ أَلَّا تَعُولُوا

And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice [between them], then [marry] only one or what your right hands possess; this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course.
[Surah An-Nisa 4:3]

It is important to note that polygamy is only allowed and not urged to be done.
When the West talks about polygamy in Islam, they refer to it as something weird that should not be valid in human nature. However, polygamy was known from the very first day of existence of mankind on Earth. Neither Jews nor Christians forbid polygamy. On the contrary, the prophets of the Jews and Christians were known to be polygamous. For example, King Sulayman (Solomon) is said to have had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. Dawud (David) had ninety-nine and Ya’qub (Jacob) had four. Christianity as well did not forbid polygamy at all, as there is no single word banning polygamy in their scriptures.
How would polygamy in Islam be unfair to women? Islam, as mentioned above, did not urge men to become polygamous. It only allowed it for certain purposes. Justice among wives is a clear restricted condition on the Muslim man who wants to marry another wife. That is clearly stated in the verse mentioned above. Whereas the West which is arrogantly refusing polygamy has different types of it, some of them are dangerous either psychologically or even physically for the society as a whole.
Types of polygamy known in the West
Actually there are three kinds of polygamy practiced in Western societies:

1. Serial polygamy, that is, marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce and so on any number of times.
2. A man married to one woman but having and supporting one or more mistresses.
3. An unmarried man having a number of mistresses.

Islam condones but discourages the first and forbids the other two.
Do you really think, brother, that polygamy is unjust to women in Islam? Or is it the real inequality to talk about the three previously listed kinds?
In her book The Life and Teachings of Muhammad, Dr. Annie Besant says:

There is pretend monogamy in the West, but in reality, there is polygamy without responsibility. The mistress is cast off when the man is weary of her… the first lover has no responsibility for her future, and she is a hundred times worse off than the sheltered wife in a polygamous home.
When we see thousands of miserable women who crowd the streets of Western towns during the night, we must surely feel that it does not lie in the Western mouth to reproach Islam for polygamy. It is better for woman, happier for woman, more respectable for woman to live in polygamy, united to one man, only with a legitimate child in her arms and surrounded with respect, than to be seduced and then cast out into the streets, perhaps with illegitimate child outside the rule of law, uncared, unsheltered, to become victim of any passer-by, night after night, rendered incapable of motherhood, despised by all.
[Besant, A. (1932). The life and teachings of Muhammad: Two lectures by Annie Besant. Adyar, Madras, India: Theosophical Pub. House.]

Thank you again for your question.
Salam.